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Are You Judgemental?

This world can feel pretty Fu^%ed up, especially lately, and it can seem like there are more and more assholes coming out of the woodworks. Everywhere we look there seems to be pain and suffering. People trying to get by and so focused on getting to the next thing, next place, and so on. We don't want to be late and it shows, becoming so rushed with our lives.

What we can sometimes forget throughout our daily hustle and bustle, is that what we see isn't nearly even close to what is actually true of the people we meet. We get a fraction, sometimes only a few seconds, a mere glimpse of a fragment of a person through our interactions. We never truly know what a person is feeling on the inside, what they have experienced in life and what they are going through in the present.

It's become so common for us to label and judge others based on those tiny interactions and believe them to be true. We talk about them and sometimes even treat other people based on our projections of them, without ever really actually knowing them. We take to heart stories we have created in our minds, based on these insignificant moments we have witnessed, without taking into account the entire human being.

Everybody Has A Story

Have you ever heard the song by Amanda Marshall "Everybody's Got A Story"? If you have not, give it a listen and really take in the lyrics because they are HELLA true. We never know what a person is going through under their smile, or behind their tired eyes or grumpy demeanour. It can be so easy to cast judgement and label a person as this or that, but maybe next time you can take a moment and ponder a couple of things:

  1. Is my perception really true? Often our brains make assumptions based on our own internal values and beliefs, which can distort our view on reality.

  2. Maybe there is more to what I am seeing. Which is always the case. That "lazy" person at work could be working 2 jobs just to make ends meet and going to night school to get their diploma to make a better life for their children. You NEVER know.

We don't like when we are misjudged, do we? You know how it feels, when someone labels YOU a certain way. It feels upsetting and at the very least, annoying when someone says something about you that isn't true or puts you in a category you feel you don't belong.

I once had a person tell me they didn't like people with tattoos. At the time, I had 4, but they were not visible. When I asked her why, she couldn't give a real answer, of course because there is no reason... I honestly can't recall her exact words. After she made her comment I asked her, as I slowly began to remove my jacket, if she liked me. She replied with "of course". Almost at that exact moment my tattoos on my forearm were revealed to her. She look at the tattoos then back at me. " And these are just the ones you can see, I have more." I said.

It was a beautiful moment, as I wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable or upset her in any way, just simple bring awareness to her thoughts and language and gently challenge them with a different perspective to reach another possible truth. She liked me and I had tattoos. Myth busted!

Look we ALL judge, it's kind of in our brain to do so. We need certainty so much we have to put the images we see into a category and quick! The trick is not to attach to the judgemental thoughts and simply question them. Is this true? Can I know for certain my thoughts about this person are true? Well of course not, you never TRULY know because you aren't that other person.

We are all do the best we can with he tools we have at the time and we have a duty to each other. Yes, we do. We are all connected human beings on this beautiful planet. Just because you may not know someone personally doesn't mean they don't deserve your love and kindness. They do. They ALWAYS do. Because we never know what silent battle a person is fighting. Your one interaction could have a massive impact on their life, so make it a good one! Be a good human, be kind, spread love. There is always enough to go around!

Amanda xo

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