Have you said any of these phrases before?
If I just had _______
Once I am ___ I can focus on my health and fitness
It's because of _____ that I can't eat healthy
As soon as summer is over, the weekend is over, next week starts I will start
I just love food I can't help it
My family is like this so I am like this
It was the way I was raised
I could probably go on and on, but you get the gist, right? All of these statements have one very important thing in common - they are placing ownership outside of the individual. Ever done that? Yes, you have, we ALL have! It can be so tricky to look within and really see what is going on. We think it's the food or the way we were raised or the environment we're living in now or the season, or the job or the spouse. It's never us, which is a major problem. If we cannot take ownership for the problem, then we cannot take part in the solution. Read that again.
It's So Much Easier To Look Out Than It Is To Look In
Be honest, isn't it easier to make excuses than to take ownership? Isn't easier to say "soon" or "next time" or "tomorrow"? Yeah, it is, that's why almost all of us do it, most of the time. But this isn't a pep talk about why today is more important than tomorrow, or to feed you some text book line like "Yesterday you said today". Which is a motivating and powerfully true statement! But, does it really get the needle moving for you CONSISTENTLY? This is the KEY word here ladies (and gents). Motivation is great but it's fleeting and temporary. Motivation might get you up that one time to go the the gym or eat those veggies because you felt good in the moment if doing so. But motivation won't take you all the way, it's not a long term travel companion. It's more of a 'in case of emergencies, please open' kind of tool.
Anyway, as I was saying, it's so much easier to look outside than inward. This way, we don't have to take ownership for ourselves and responsibility for our choices. We can just blame it on our spouse or family, or job, or because food is too tasty. There is always a reason we can't get healthy and stay on track, and none of it really has anything to do with us. But as much as you try to blame the outside world, you know deep down that it's you.
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." - Henry Ford
For some this might be too 'out there' and I even forget this at times, but, we design our lives. We are the ones who are in control, not of life, but of our response and reaction to it. Whatever we believe becomes true, and how our life unfolds is a result of those beliefs. Because it isn't what we see, it's HOW we see it. That's why some people are rich and unhappy and others are 'poor' and full of joy. Perspective. This is why I believe so many people struggle, because the solution is so simple. It's not always EASY, but it is simply to understand.
So what's really the problem, do you think? Is it really all your excuses, or are all your excuses the problem? Is it what is happening in your life or how you are viewing what is happening? Whatever you decide to think is what is true for you. The really beautiful thing too is that you have the ability to shift your perspectives and change your beliefs. You may believe right now that nothing will ever work for you long term, you'll be unhealthy forever, doomed and stuck in your current lifestyle. You may believe that you don't have what it takes....but, we always get proof where we look for things, so, where are you getting the proof? How are you validating your beliefs?
We Get Proof Where We Look For Things
The famous Tony Robbins says this as "You get more of what you focus on", which means the same thing. You focus on pain, you get more pain. If you look for ways you are a failure, a screw up, inconsistent and incapable of change, you WILL find them. So you need to ask yourself; where the hell are you getting all this proof to affirm your beliefs and where can you start looking for something better?
If for example, you believe you are too inconsistent to change, I'm sure you can find 50 ways you are right and that is true. But if instead we replaced that belief to you ARE consistent, could you find ways of that being true also? Seriously, like do you brush your teeth everyday? Make food? Go to work? Put your seatbelt on when you drive? Call your friends on their birthdays? That's consistency my friend. Again, you get proof where you look for things.
So I ask again, what really is the problem? By now you're catching on to the fact that it is your thinking and the way you are choosing to see your life and your choices. You can choose to remain stuck and make excuses and let them run your life, or, you can decide that you have the ability to change your beliefs and perspective on your life and get real with yourself.
The choice is always yours. Choose wisely.