Do you know how many times I tried so hard to stop... Stop eating like shit, stop smoking, stop chasing people, stop feeling like a slave to my habits and behaviours and like there was no way out?!! Too many times to count! Too many times I signed up for gym memberships, tossed out all my junk food, and PROMISED I would get my ass up the next day and be different, do better. And every single day I failed myself. The feeling of desperation and sadness had momentarily passed and didn't really feel the need to take action like I did the day before. I also assessed how much work I would actually have to put in to change and it felt like too much. I would find a way to just be ok with how I was. Does any of this sound familiar?
So Why Can't We Just STOP??!!
if you're anything like I was, you've have asked yourself this painstaking question so many times. 'Why can't I just STOP' was on constant replay over and over in my mind. I was especially confused because I was able to quit drugs at the drop of a hat. Yet all these other addictions stayed with me...WHY?
It was because I didn't get to the root of my addiction, the 'why' behind the behaviour. I kept asking myself; "why can't I stop' when I should have been asking myself ' why did I start'. We can't get the right answers if we don't ask the right questions. I kept getting stuck at what was WRONG with my behaviour and not what was RIGHT about it, or, what need it was meeting for me that was causing me to continue it despite the negative consequences I was having.
So, are you asking the right questions? Have you ever inquired why you embarked on your food addiction journey? What started it? And most importantly, why you are staying? Have you ever wondered what need this behaviour might be meeting for you? This is where real growth begins. Real change and freedom from our addictions start with questions, with inquiry, bringing a new and beautiful level of awareness we didn't have before. When I got real with myself I truly saw how emotionally dependant I was on food. I didn't trust people with my feelings, so I used food to comfort me and help me feel. I was running from my self and seeking comfort in something I thought could never betray me. The truth in this however is that food addiction is self abuse. I was abusing myself to meet my emotional needs. It took first asking the right questions, then meeting myself with deep awareness, love, and healing, for me to truly overcome the addictive behaviour and get free.
It's about getting to the root cause of your addiction, rather that masking it with corrective behaviour, because that will only last so long until the house crumbles, as it is built on faulty, rotting foundation.
If we instead of continuing to stack and build upward, first tear down all that isn't working and get to the root of the disfunction, we will truly be able to break free, move forward, and heal from our addiction, instead of simply transitioning the behaviour elsewhere. I know have worked with many recovered addicts and one thing I have noticed is that a lot of those who come out of drug addiction (like myself) now struggle with some form of food addiction. The ones who do have not addressed the underlying cause of the originating addiction, and have transferred the behaviour to something else, less immediately life threatening, and called it a cure. Unbeknownst to them, they are still repeating the pattern, just in a different way, because the blocked emotions are still there, they haven’t reached the root.
Healing Is Possible
If you are struggling with food addiction and are truly ready to free yourself from it, start with curiosity. Ask the questions I mentioned earlier in the post like:
What is RIGHT about this behaviour - ie what emotional need is it meeting?
Where might this behaviour be stemming from?
How long have I had it?
Instead of 'why can't I stop', ask 'why did I start'
This kinds of self inquiry will lead you down a different thought path that will help yield different answers and create an opportunity for genuine growth and sustainable change. If you are uncertain if you have a food addiction, you can take the quiz here - Food Addiction Quiz . If you would like learn more about breaking free you can also book a zero pressure discovery call to see what services and programs are available.
It is NEVER too late to flip the script and start down a different path, I have many times and I promise you while it may not be EASY, it WILL be worth it!